Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I should buy stock in Google...Being Symptom Crazy

Hi.  My name is Jill, and I am a Google-My-Symptoms addict.  Seriously.  Clickity-click I go on the search bar with words like, "dry cm, creamy cm, achy legs, constipation, diarrhea, sore nipples, late af, burping, tingly teeth, split ends, panicky impatience, early pregnancy symptoms?"

I skip any irrelevant results (naturally).  Instead, I get my fix hitting forums where women list their identically ridiculous symptoms begging to see the response, "of course your pregnant!  No ttw for you!  Consider this comment a BFP and go buy a bassinet!"

DH and I have been ttc for 11 months now.  For the last 5 I've really kicked into gear by temping orally in the am before rising, taking prenatal vitamins and bding like a rabbit.  Most months, I write off my crazy symptoms as premenstrual, and I turn out to be right.  But...

But what if THIS month is different?  I've never been pregnant before.  I've never had a 10 year hs reunion before either, but that isn't stopping me from attending my first next month.  What a warm, gooey, yummy baby dust glow I get when I dream that this time it is really happening.  What hollow, stabbing heartache I could feel if I allow myself to get excited and run to the bathroom expecting tell-tale creamy cm in my underwear and find blood instead?

Four more days, and I'll take a hpt.  Oh God, did I just say I would wait four more days?

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